Let's set up a Skype date because...

I’m moving to Thailand!

Surprised? I know that some of you might be a bit shocked, but this happy news has slowly been spreading through the friends and family grapevine, and I wanted to let everyone in on the news.

You might ask why am I going, or when am I leaving, or even how is this possible?

Well, there are a few reasons really.  It’s a mix of faith, family, and finances all lining up at the right time when my craving to see the world kicks, but let’s be honest…it’s because the Lord opened the door and made everything fall into place perfectly in His timing. I won’t go too into detail here on the why’s or how’s of coming to this decision, but I will say that a great deal of thought and prayer went into making it. It’s something I wanted to do four years ago, but I felt like the timing was wrong back then.

Many people would say that the time is wrong to leave right now. I have a great job with amazing coworkers, and I’ve finally found a home church with a young adult group that I absolutely adore! Core Church LA has been such a blessing, and I feel like I’ve grown in my walk and found some amazing brothers and sisters there.

But sometimes the Lord puts a burden on our hearts, and he always equips us for the task ahead. And working with youth is both the burden that’s always been on my heart and one that I feel he’s challenging me to tackle full time.

If you know me, then you are probably aware of the fact that I’ve worked with youth for over 12 years…yes, you read that right, 12 years! I started teaching a Wednesday night “Sunday school” class with my mom back when I was a freshman in high school , and we started working with the 3-5 year olds. I continued to work with the students all through all of my high school years,  then I volunteered during summer and winter breaks throughout college and then again after graduation. The tiny tots who used to fight to hold my land and be line leader,are now driving themselves around town (scary!) and looking at colleges to apply to in the fall (they’re waaay smarter than me!)

It saddens my heart to think of leaving these kids behind when I leave the country, but I know that my small group girls are the best pen pals, and that facebook, skype, and email will make it easier to cope with the distance.

I’ll be leaving here at the beginning of May, to fly to Thailand where I will live at the Ban San Faan children’s home in Chiang Mai. It mean’s Home of Fulfilled Dreams. I will live at the children’s home and teach English at the school nearby where the children attend classes along with children from another nearby orphanage. Both the school and the home are Christian based programs, which provides us the opportunity to live out and share the gospel in a predominately Buddhist culture.

I’ll be living there for one year, and my greatest fear right now is how I’ll cope with the homesickness. My family and I are very close, and I know it’ll be heartbreaking to be so far from my dad who I sit with and talk about things ranging from the seriousness of faith and life to the silliness of great youtube videos we’ve found.

But being away from my mom will be particularly difficult. She’s by far the best friend I have.  I’ll miss the way she grumbles when I ask her to play with my hair J  and how we can turn a quick run to the store into an “oh we definitely need to go get an iced coffee!” moment. But perhaps even more than how easily we get along, I’ll miss the way she corrects me when I’m out of line—with gentle words, but heavy truth. In the last few years, I’ve come to admire her strength of faith and her dependence on the Lord and His word to see her through the toughest of times. She and my dad are people of true wisdom. They don’t just speak to be heard, they speak to shine truth. And my prayer going into this next step in my life is that the Lord will speak wisdom into my soul, that my actions will be a reflection of his truth, goodness, and love.

So please…for me!! Love on my parents while I’m gone and send me some great emails with awesome stories of everything that’s happening back in La Crescenta and at The Calling!

I’ll need every ounce of home I can get!

My excitement for this trip is pretty overwhelming right now. Knowing that I’ll soon be spending time with children (full time!!) makes the stress of the pre-planning bearable.  I have 2 months to get quite a lot done, but I’ll be working at my current job up through April 4^th, so everything is really going to get done in the last 3 weeks of April. Honestly, I’m looking forward to the whirlwind of change that’s in store.

Please, please, please let’s get together and visit before I leave because I want to get caught up with everyone before I go! I want to hear about what’s coming up in your future, so I can add it to my prayer list and take it with me when I leave!

All my best,

Lauren

Breakthrough

I've capped my pen and closed the book...the notebook that is.

Today was a breakthrough day, a revelation day, a day of shockers I didn't see coming...and a day of finalization.

It's taken 2 years, countless scraps of paper, receipt scribblings, index cards, pictures ripped from Nat Geo Magazine, and half-finished notebooks; but I finally finished the outline for my story.

Now some people might think that I could have written my book in 2 years time, but I don't want to just write a story. Just scribble down a book. 

I've been aiming to create a world that's full and rich in sounds, culture, and history. I've encountered road block after road block as I try to figure out who my characters are and what their motives are for things they're doing.

There was a period of about 2 months where I thought for sure one person was headed down one road, and it just clicked today that he's not the man I thought he was. Duh! Silly writer.

And the story then spilled out from imagination to page seemingly without thought.

The ends are all tied up, the motives and personalities are understood.

There is nothing more freeing than knowing that I can now sit down and plug away at the actual text. My goal to have 100 pages by year end is within sight.

That is all.

Failures of 2012

Let's just all agree that I'm the most inconsistent blog-poster on the planet. I made 3 whole posts in all of 2012. Go me! Not.

I make promises, tell myself I'm going to do big things in terms of my writing and life, and then I don't follow through.

So for 2013 I'm going to do something different. After looking at my 3 resolutions from 2012 and realizing that only 1 of them was achieved, I'm going to stick with 1 resolution for 2013. Am I the only person who creates these enormously unachievable goals and then ends up surprised when they aren't reached? If the sudden crowds at the gym are any indication, I'm going to say no, I'm not alone.

In 2012 I said I would

1) become a bartender. Ha! More like, become bourbon obsessed and begin creating my own personal mini-bourbon and whiskey bar.

2) finish a story. Well...I finished a short one. Does that count? I'm going to say no since that's not what I meant when I set my goals. I did, however, take my first writing course through UCLA's Writer's Extension Program. I recommend this program to anyone who is looking for a group of writers...or just a way to be held accountable for their writing.

3) do something big. Okay, this one I accomplished!! I got a kick-ass job working as the Senior Assistant at Citi Private Bank in Beverly Hills, and I also completed 2 half marathons which is something I've always wanted to do. The first one was in September at Disneyland and the second one was just after Thanksgiving in Seattle with my roommate from college.

But for 2013, my one goal will be...

--Complete at least 100 Pages of my story!!

I think this will be doable since I've found a group of women from my writing class last year, and we've all decided to email our works to one another and meet once a month to discuss them. We've also all enrolled in the same Novel Writing class this session, so I should be more consistent with my work.

I'm excited to see how this year plays out. Hopefully with better results than last year!

Happy New Year, Everyone!!

That time I disappeared...for 7 months...

I just realized that it's been about 7 months since I last posted. 

What?! 

I knew it had been a while since I've been feeling antsy, and lately I've been scribbling things down on receipts and index cards because, let's be honest here, I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT WRITING SESSION IN A LONG A** TIME! And as my scraps-of-scribbles pile has grown, so too has my antsy-ness. 

Now I have a box full of chicken scratch-covered paper bits, and it is way too unorganized of a writing process.

So, to make a long ramble even longer...I've intentionally put aside time this week to sit down, write, and update my blog with posts about my new job--Yay!!

Until next post...

--Lauren

because I'm a book nerd...

So I stumbled across this gem of a video while wasting time online today. Because I'm such a book lover and I'm obsessed with organizing/reorganizing my bookshelves, I thought this was amazing!

Here's the video:

The Joy of Books

I can't imagine how long it took to do this; I can only appreciate the work that went into it.

... And, once again, I am wasting time online by watching videos about books instead of actually working on writing my own book.

Time to head to the sunny backyard and work where there's no internet connection.

2012 Checklist

1. Become a bartender

2. Finish a story

3. Do something big

I don't know what my "something big" will be; I just know that I want to do something that will surprise me and make me believe in my own talents again.

Somehow I've started believing that my talents aren't really talents. That I'm not quite as gifted as I once thought myself to be. I've felt belief in myself begin to flicker and fade, and I now question my own potential. Luckily this has scared the hibernating writer in me into making her presence known. She showed up today and scribbled some words that shocked a good dose of self-respect back into me.

I may not be destined to be the novelist I once dreamt of becoming. But maybe there's another form of writing more naturally suited to my style.

My heart sits full of unknowns, but in this upcoming year I have the vaguest sketch of a plan. To do the above listed three things. How they get done and the timeframe in which they're completed doesn't matter. As long as I keep the end goal in sight, and move closer to it as the year passes, I'll be happy to meander through ups and downs that 2012 brings my way.

Maybe my 'something big' will just be growing as an individual and as a writer.

Interesting inspirations

            My detour today is a detour of reading material.

            Typically I read novels, or I try to push my way through the mythology and history books that I didn’t fully read in college, and once a month I devour the pages of National Geographic when it comes in the mail. The last time I read poetry, however, was during the spring semester of my senior year of college—a year and a half ago. Not too long ago, but it also isn’t very recent.

            But I was watching Bright Star a few nights ago, which is an amazing movie about the relationship between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, and I realized I had forgotten in the last year or so just how much I love the Romantic poets. Fortunately I didn't pack away my copy of  The Norton Anthology of English Literature: The Romantic Period when I was boxing up my 16 boxes worth of books last summer, so I found Norton casually relaxing on my bookshelf.

            I’ve been flipping through the anthology these last few days, and I’ll occasionally stop to read when a title catches my eye. Sometimes the title is something I’ve read before, and I’ll find notes in the margins. Other times I find something I’ve never heard of, and I wonder why I didn’t pay attention during my first time reading through the book.

            I thought I’d share a poem with you today. In honor of Bright Star, and because I stumbled across this bit of poetry in my flippings through the Norton, here is some Keats for you to enjoy!

When I have fears that I may cease to be

When I have fears that I may cease to be

Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,

Before high piled books, in charactry,

Hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain;

When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,

Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,

And think that I may never live to trace

Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;

And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,

That I shall never look upon thee more,

Never have relish in the fairy power

Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore

Of the wide world I stand alone, and think

Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.

              I feel a sense of urgency when I read poems and stories written by poets and authors whose lives were ended when they were still young--whose imaginations might still have been full of ideas when they died.

              Is it strange that I feel inspired to sit down immediately and write after I've remembered the shortness of their lives? 

              If it inspires me, morbid though the inspiration may be, I think I'll just say thank you to the muses and accept the gift.  

              So for today I guess I'll say--Thank you Mr. Keats for being my bit of inspiration.