Forget, forgive, and pierce your nose.

I've come to strongly dislike the term "bonding."

Two years ago my younger sister asked if we could "bond," and I ended up sitting in a tattoo and piercing parlor in Pasadena. Because I wasn't a fan of the whole needle, ink, and permanent body art thing, I walked away with a new piercing in my cartilage--this was, of course, after they gave me a juice box and brought my father in to hold my hand (apparently I got too pale).

Lesson learned: Lauren = chicken.

Well, more recently I was asked to go "bond" with the best friend. And I found myself sitting again in the same tattoo and piercing parlor in Pasadena. Instead of losing color, I lost my mind. I would like to say that I passed out momentarily and that's why I forgot about the child I was supposed to watch, but that would be a lie. 

We left for the piercing parlor at 5:30, and I knew that I was supposed to be home by a quarter to 7:00.

A quarter to 7:00. I needed to be back by a quarter to 7:00.

...

One dead phone and a nose piercing later, I asked what time it was and sighed in relief after hearing that it was only 7:05...plenty of time to get back to the house for babysitting at a quarter to 7:00.

I got in my car, looked at the clock: 7:15. I was good; it wasn't a quarter to 7:00.  I had 30 minutes.

I know what you're thinking: Did she make a typo? Does she mean a quarter to 8:00? Or does she not know how to tell time?

Don't worry; I finally realized what I'm sure you've been screaming in your head. 

It went a bit like this:

"It's 7:23; I have until a quarter to 7:00...A QUARTER TO SEVEN!!!! IT'S 7:23! I'M SO F***ING LATE!!"

*Insert ten minutes of screaming profanities*

"I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON! I'M AN AWFUL, AWFUL PERSON!"

*More profanities*

*And again....they basically just continued from here on out...*

"Okay, okay! They were going to dinner with my parents, and I know where they're going. Maybe they just took her with them!"

I tracked them down at dinner....but the child was missing.

GAH!!!! 

They had taken her to someone else's house--someone who was in the middle of making dinner for her fiance. My memory lapse was interrupting multiple dinner dates!

"I'm an awful person!"

I hopped in my car and sped over to get the kid.

"I'm an awful person! I am a horrible, horrible person!"

So I picked up the kid, explained that my forgetfulness was due to a not-so-rebellious-because-my-parents-didn't-really-mind nose ring.

Got the kid in my car and continued to mumble my disappointment in myself.

And then it happened. The kid flipped the mood and made me laugh.

She cut me off mid-rant.

"Miss Lauren!" she said in between bites from her milkshake (I caved and got us something sweet to help turn the bad to good), "You just need to forgive yourself."

"Yeah, but sometimes self-forgiveness is the hardest kind," I said and silently noted how I liked the phrasing of what I'd just told her.

"Not for me," she slurped whipped cream. "I forgive myself for everything; I'm never mad at myself!"

*insert uncontrollable laughter*

Her point: I needed to shut up and get over it. 

Good point.

Lesson learned: I need to thank God more often for the family and friends I have who accept when my life detours take away my brain for the day.