Failures of 2012

Let's just all agree that I'm the most inconsistent blog-poster on the planet. I made 3 whole posts in all of 2012. Go me! Not.

I make promises, tell myself I'm going to do big things in terms of my writing and life, and then I don't follow through.

So for 2013 I'm going to do something different. After looking at my 3 resolutions from 2012 and realizing that only 1 of them was achieved, I'm going to stick with 1 resolution for 2013. Am I the only person who creates these enormously unachievable goals and then ends up surprised when they aren't reached? If the sudden crowds at the gym are any indication, I'm going to say no, I'm not alone.

In 2012 I said I would

1) become a bartender. Ha! More like, become bourbon obsessed and begin creating my own personal mini-bourbon and whiskey bar.

2) finish a story. Well...I finished a short one. Does that count? I'm going to say no since that's not what I meant when I set my goals. I did, however, take my first writing course through UCLA's Writer's Extension Program. I recommend this program to anyone who is looking for a group of writers...or just a way to be held accountable for their writing.

3) do something big. Okay, this one I accomplished!! I got a kick-ass job working as the Senior Assistant at Citi Private Bank in Beverly Hills, and I also completed 2 half marathons which is something I've always wanted to do. The first one was in September at Disneyland and the second one was just after Thanksgiving in Seattle with my roommate from college.

But for 2013, my one goal will be...

--Complete at least 100 Pages of my story!!

I think this will be doable since I've found a group of women from my writing class last year, and we've all decided to email our works to one another and meet once a month to discuss them. We've also all enrolled in the same Novel Writing class this session, so I should be more consistent with my work.

I'm excited to see how this year plays out. Hopefully with better results than last year!

Happy New Year, Everyone!!

That time I disappeared...for 7 months...

I just realized that it's been about 7 months since I last posted. 

What?! 

I knew it had been a while since I've been feeling antsy, and lately I've been scribbling things down on receipts and index cards because, let's be honest here, I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT WRITING SESSION IN A LONG A** TIME! And as my scraps-of-scribbles pile has grown, so too has my antsy-ness. 

Now I have a box full of chicken scratch-covered paper bits, and it is way too unorganized of a writing process.

So, to make a long ramble even longer...I've intentionally put aside time this week to sit down, write, and update my blog with posts about my new job--Yay!!

Until next post...

--Lauren

because I'm a book nerd...

So I stumbled across this gem of a video while wasting time online today. Because I'm such a book lover and I'm obsessed with organizing/reorganizing my bookshelves, I thought this was amazing!

Here's the video:

The Joy of Books

I can't imagine how long it took to do this; I can only appreciate the work that went into it.

... And, once again, I am wasting time online by watching videos about books instead of actually working on writing my own book.

Time to head to the sunny backyard and work where there's no internet connection.

2012 Checklist

1. Become a bartender

2. Finish a story

3. Do something big

I don't know what my "something big" will be; I just know that I want to do something that will surprise me and make me believe in my own talents again.

Somehow I've started believing that my talents aren't really talents. That I'm not quite as gifted as I once thought myself to be. I've felt belief in myself begin to flicker and fade, and I now question my own potential. Luckily this has scared the hibernating writer in me into making her presence known. She showed up today and scribbled some words that shocked a good dose of self-respect back into me.

I may not be destined to be the novelist I once dreamt of becoming. But maybe there's another form of writing more naturally suited to my style.

My heart sits full of unknowns, but in this upcoming year I have the vaguest sketch of a plan. To do the above listed three things. How they get done and the timeframe in which they're completed doesn't matter. As long as I keep the end goal in sight, and move closer to it as the year passes, I'll be happy to meander through ups and downs that 2012 brings my way.

Maybe my 'something big' will just be growing as an individual and as a writer.

Interesting inspirations

            My detour today is a detour of reading material.

            Typically I read novels, or I try to push my way through the mythology and history books that I didn’t fully read in college, and once a month I devour the pages of National Geographic when it comes in the mail. The last time I read poetry, however, was during the spring semester of my senior year of college—a year and a half ago. Not too long ago, but it also isn’t very recent.

            But I was watching Bright Star a few nights ago, which is an amazing movie about the relationship between John Keats and Fanny Brawne, and I realized I had forgotten in the last year or so just how much I love the Romantic poets. Fortunately I didn't pack away my copy of  The Norton Anthology of English Literature: The Romantic Period when I was boxing up my 16 boxes worth of books last summer, so I found Norton casually relaxing on my bookshelf.

            I’ve been flipping through the anthology these last few days, and I’ll occasionally stop to read when a title catches my eye. Sometimes the title is something I’ve read before, and I’ll find notes in the margins. Other times I find something I’ve never heard of, and I wonder why I didn’t pay attention during my first time reading through the book.

            I thought I’d share a poem with you today. In honor of Bright Star, and because I stumbled across this bit of poetry in my flippings through the Norton, here is some Keats for you to enjoy!

When I have fears that I may cease to be

When I have fears that I may cease to be

Before my pen has glean’d my teeming brain,

Before high piled books, in charactry,

Hold like rich garners the full ripen’d grain;

When I behold, upon the night’s starr’d face,

Huge cloudy symbols of a high romance,

And think that I may never live to trace

Their shadows, with the magic hand of chance;

And when I feel, fair creature of an hour,

That I shall never look upon thee more,

Never have relish in the fairy power

Of unreflecting love;—then on the shore

Of the wide world I stand alone, and think

Till love and fame to nothingness do sink.

              I feel a sense of urgency when I read poems and stories written by poets and authors whose lives were ended when they were still young--whose imaginations might still have been full of ideas when they died.

              Is it strange that I feel inspired to sit down immediately and write after I've remembered the shortness of their lives? 

              If it inspires me, morbid though the inspiration may be, I think I'll just say thank you to the muses and accept the gift.  

              So for today I guess I'll say--Thank you Mr. Keats for being my bit of inspiration.

Hawaiian Surprise

I know, I know. It's been a while since I last blogged, but I promise I haven't been avoiding you! The last post From the Top of the Maze should have clued you in on what's been happening in my life.

You see, all summer long I have been getting asked left and right about whether or not I was going to be able to buy a ticket to go with some family friends to Hawaii. Well, I got my ticket about 2 or 3 weeks before everyone was leaving, but I thought it'd be fun to surprise the kids the day of the trip, so I had been avoiding questions and changing topics like crazy whenever Hawaii would be brought up in conversation. I found out pretty quickly that being excited about something that you can't talk about makes the excitement almost unbearable. The night before the trip, all I could do as I was getting ready for bed was think about how awful it was that I couldn't call anyone up on the phone to exchange packing lists and excited laughter.

To make matters worse, the whole week before I left, Best Friend kept calling and texting me to try to set up a time we could get together because we hadn't seen each other in weeks, and I couldn't say anything because she was away at camp with a bunch of junior high girls (one of whom I was trying to surprise!)

I was afraid that my secret might slip out or be overheard, and I wasn't ready to let 2 weeks worth of secret keeping be put to waste! I had bitten my tongue so many times and lied about why I couldn't afford the trip (which I feel awful about by the way), and I didn't want my 2 weeks of silent misery to be wiped away. Plus, I selfishly wanted to see the girls' faces when they realized I'd be tagging along.

I finally called Best Friend and made sure she was away from eavesdropping ears, so I could explain to her that I wasn't trying to avoid her. All was right in the world, and she, because she's an awesome friend, was excited for me.

On the morning that everyone was scheduled to leave, my parents drove down to pick up some donuts, so I could take them with me to meet up with everyone to go to the airport. The girls frowned at me and asked if I was going. I just carried the box of donuts and kept my duffle bag in the trunk of Mom's car, so my secret wouldn't be revealed too quickly. I told them I was there to send them off (which I totally wouldn't have done if I wasn't going because, let's be honest, it wasn't even 6 am yet and that's just not a social hour).

One girl (let's call her Car-car because she's sweet 16 with her very 1st car) complained about my showing up without a bigger surprise than donuts.

"No," Car-car said, "You're only supposed to bring donuts if you're going with us!"

To which I responded, "Well that's good 'cuz I am."

To which they responded:

(see: picture; insert screams)

My weeks of secret-keeping and lying paid off. I had to apologize to Car-car because she had gotten a little too close to finding out my secret, and I had tried to throw her off my trail by saying I had job interviews all week around the Los Angeles area--total lie. 

My Al-bug (in the purple skirt above) was so surprised that her hand started shaking, and she almost spilled her tea. She told me that she had been getting ready for bed the night before and thought that I might be going, but she didn't want to get her hopes up, so she tried convincing herself that there was no chance it would happen.

Best. Surprise. Ever. 

I did feel somewhat bad for the neighbors since a group of girls were screaming, and it was barely 6 am...but I didn't feel too bad for them.

The trip was a blast, and there is so much that happened that I don't know how I'll ever be able to share it all here, but I'll just summarize for now and say that we saw many beautiful sea turtles,

jumped off the oh-so-high rock in Waimea Bay,

hijacked the suburban from the parentals to hike a beautiful trail that looked out to the ocean and then wound back into a mist-filled valley, 

snorkeled all week around Alligator Rock, ate delicious coconut Shave Ice with ice cream, and visited the Dole Pineapple Plantation for some sweet-tasting Pineapple Whip. 

I can't believe the trip already came and went, but I hope that I'll get to go back soon--and drag my parents along, too! 

Oh! And did I mention that we brought the Shake-Face to Hawaii? Because we totally did!

Hawaii Fun!!

Hey everyone!! I am Allie Fernandez....one of Lauren's good friends, except that I am only thirteen. Lauren asked me to write, but I am not quite sure what to write! This week we are in Hawaii. It is so beautiful and we are so lucky to be here. We have done a lot so far, even though today is only our second whole day. We have gone swimming, snorkeling, paddle boarding, workouts, reading, card playing, eating, and having a blast!

Okay, so its all relaxing, but it's great!! Isn't that what vacation is about- relaxation!! The view from our balcony is amazing and we spend a lot of our day just staring out into the ocean looking at the beauty! This morning we woke up to a rainbow across the ocean. It was so pretty! I love Hawaii so much! I am hoping to learn how to surf which would be a lot of fun. Well gotta go enjoy the waves. Bye!!